The Yost Family

This is it....

2011-06-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

From now on you can find us at:

Love Sandwich

our new family blog!

Day at the beach...the last post

2011-06-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

I recently took a Monday off to go with Jim and kids on a field trip to Hearst Castle. It was a lovely, lovely day. The tour was great, the kids were much more engaged than I expected. After wards, the four us hit the beach and a really good hamburger grill in Cambria. I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I do, it's my last post for this family blog....watch for our new blog to come your way soon!

luckypennymake pattern giveaway!

2011-05-31T05:51:00.001-07:00

check it out!

Luckypennymake

Multiple Sclerosis is...

2011-05-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

anger.
exhaustion.
pain.
frustration.
lonely.
confusing.
sad.
living a life you never intended.
a body that doesn't always do as you intend, and sometimes does the exact opposite.
fatigue. all. day. long. everyday.
trying out medications that cause flu-like symptoms. every week.
deciding those medications are not really worth it and seeking other help.
steroids, they really fuck with you.
forgetting: everything.
being impatient.
being pissed off that you are always impatient.
wishing people would educate themselves.
knowing you should educate yourself more.
fear.
putting the little girl in preschool, first two mornings per week then four or five.
letting the little boy watch tons and tons of t.v., just to get through the day.
bands of tightness around yours legs and midsection.
blind spots in your vision.
weakness and muscle loss.
a sensation that the bottom of your feet are burning. constantly.
tremors.
loss of sensation.
numbness.
spasticity.
tingling.
loss of balance.
loss of coordination.
randomly sounding drunk due to slurred speech.
losing words.
cognitive problems.
missing steps and kicking furniture because you've lost your feet, you really don't know where they will land. stubbing every toe on your poor tired feet over and over again.
devastating.
depression.
so damn scary.
saying no to wrestling with the little boy, again and again.
feeling so sad and regretful when he says, "you ALWAYS say that!".
help. family and friends offering more than you imagined you needed.
saying yes to help, and more help. to food, to childcare, to time, to a listening ear.
finally taking the walk.
calling a hotline, finally talking to someone else who knows exactly what you mean.
online support groups, for the the boy who needs so much support from others who are experiencing what he is and for the girl who needs support from those who are experiencing what she is.
reading and reading and reading. reading about diet and research and the experience of others with MS.
lashing out because you are so hurt and angry.
realizing that one more baby, one you both so badly want is probably just another dream you will let go of.
letting go of many many dreams, ambitions and wants.
wondering what effect each decision however big or small will have.
planning for then rethinking family trips, the cost, the effort, the drive, the heat, comfort once you get there....
loads of vitamins.
dreading the implementation of diet changes: going gluten free, dairy free, caffeine free, sugar free. one step at a time.
taking everything one step at a time.
learning to say, I can't do anymore today, please take over.
trusting that your request will be heard with love and care and honored too.
learning to love what you've got.
finding joy in the little girl's new found joy in preschool.
forming new dreams - dreams that are easier to realize, more flexible and easier to let go of if need be.
trust.
sometimes saying yes to wrestling, even when your tired - because you've got the emotional energy to bring that joy to the little boy.
finally learning to put yourself first and take care of yourself, because you, in whatever form you come to the family are exactly what is needed to make it whole.
joining the gym, deciding to spend some of your precious energy on your poor tired body, finding so much joy in the work of it and feeling so satisfied by the results - finding you can actually rebuild some of that lost muscle!
enjoying life, every little moment and hour that feels normal.
enjoying every smile and laugh and hug and kiss and moment of connection, because in that we are normal.
letting others in, learning to be honest and say what is really alive in you.
in our life, but not the whole, just a piece.

"The Spoon Theory"

2011-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

If you love Jim, (and I know you do), watch this:

Jim watched this and cried. It's true, it's really like this. He cried because he is ALWAYS borrowing spoons from tomorrows stash. He is still trying to deny his supply is limited. Everyday he pushes himself, because he thinks he can, he thinks he should, he thinks others think he can, he thinks others think he should, he feels guilty, he feels embarrassed, he feels helpless and out of control.
I cried because although I "get it" I will never truly know what it feels like and the truth is that it is hard to be the "healthy one" and always make room for what is going on with the "ill one". Sometimes I am tired or sick or just sick-and-tired. I feel cheated too. But still. I am thankful for these types of reminders. I am thankful Jim and I can talk and share our thoughts and feelings - though we don't always do it well or with enough care and compassion. We keep on trying. I am thankful for him, and all his spoons - and all mine because I know if he lets me I can use my seemingly limitless supply to make up for those he does not have or those he is reserving for later use.
If you see Jim out and about or at a gathering, just know, he is using his spoons just to be there.

Easter, the easy way - just pictures

2011-05-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

A bug inspired easter bunny came to visit our house

Maggy bit the bunny's nose right off.

Fletch went right to building.

Add caption

holding onto the money no matter the cost!

just a few eggs

The annual up-a-tree picture!

Simply 10 Good Things

2011-04-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

inspired by Soule Mama.

the faces she draws after requesting a family drawn by me

when they play together

joy

feeding my kids

when she falls asleep by herself

his smile, his eyes and yes, his beard

his imagination and the delight he gets out of his own creations

family work

this warm and comfy spot

family walks

check this out:

2011-04-25T19:15:00.000-07:00

Multiple Sclerosis T-Shirts by artists with MS:

After 9 years

2011-04-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

We've lived quite a long time with MS. The truth though, is that we have not always acknowledged it's presence in our family. Not everyday. Not in all the ways it has affected us, changed us, and hurt us. That is changing. Quickly and with force Jim has swept away any reluctance to face this disease head on. To take charge of MS, to no longer let it take charge of him. This has meant lots of reading, talking, crying, fear, relief, joy (yes, I said that), and reaching out. We are reaching out to the MS society for help and support. The hot-line, the counseling, the advice, the ear and shoulder.
And so, we must support those supporting us, to keep that support coming:

We're walking on Saturday, April 16th in San Luis Obispo. The whole family plus more family. And maybe you? Join us if you can. Donate if you would like to. We appreciate all your love and support in all the many forms it takes. Still. After all these years.

Journaling...

2011-03-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

We are trying to do family journaling, (at least once a week, I hope), for connection, laughter, insight, conversation, and a bit of calm:

Things that make you happy:

Maggy:
a zu zu pet
a seahorse
a car
thanks, thanks
dancing
wearing leotards at Junah's house
wearing my new bow shoes

Fletch:
Legos
Bella
Andy
Ezzy

Sara:
sunlight
good music
family
food
reading
laughing
travel
creating
connection
smiles
hugs
water running over rocks
walking
trees
the library
photos
holding hands
kisses
games
big windows
rain on asphalt
dancing
potlucks
disneyland
ice cream

Jim:
harmony
laughter
sunshine
music
Fletcher
Magnolia
Sara
back rubs
beard
not showering
crosswords
tattoos
full belly
energy

First Day

2011-03-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

We took a step we never thought we'd take:

Maggy started preschool last Tuesday. She will go twice a week, four hours in the mornings. Oh, and she's in my class. Yup, she's even calling me Miss Sara - she thinks that is pretty funny.

Junah has been in my class for a year now, she is happy to be showing Mags the ropes. Now these girls, these shrieking, dancing princesses get to spend two whole days together each week. They could not be happier:

Jim thought he would miss her too much. He quickly found that he missed her, but not so much he couldn't enjoy the day. A bit more quiet, a bit more calm, a bit more peaceful. A bit easier.

Fletch is enjoying more of Dad's attention and less of Maggy's.

I am enjoying more time with my girl. Maggy is loving the activities, the toilet that is, "small for us kids!", all the new friends and being a big girl at school.

Man of Mystery

2011-03-12T23:01:00.000-08:00

still amazed....after all these years

2011-03-12T22:57:00.000-08:00

Birthday Weekend

2011-03-12T22:49:00.000-08:00

Birthday preparations, for the three year old girl

The birthday girl arrives, a princess ready for her special day

decorating wands and crowns

Fletch was provided with something a bit more in line with his interests, he was glad for that.

Kennedy playing in Maggy's kitchen.

present time! kennedy and aunt amber brought this funny little singing bear, we all enjoyed him.

a puzzle from Fletch.

Aunt Barbara's apron and kitchen mitts...love them.

All three girls loved the felt doll set from Aunt Barbara and Junah.

Pink princess cupcaks, with some blue ones per Fletcher's request, made by Aunt Harvest.

mmmmmm.

very yummy.

pinkalicious, lickalicious.

second helpings.

she reminds me of alice in wonderland.

running off some sugar

what a group

Happy Birthday Magpie.

It was a fabulous party, the girls were sweet and so fun to watch together, and despite the fact that I imagined Fletcher might feel a bit bummed being the only boy and older kid - he really enjoyed himself and played with the girls very happily. It was relaxed and full of joy, a princess party for our princess.

Being Katie

2011-03-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

Jim went to Seattle to surprise his little sis, Katie, for her 30th birthday.
Josh, Katie's beer-brewing (and very generous) hubby, contacted Jim some months ago to ask us to come up for the weekend. With life being as busy as it is we decided Jim should go alone.
I think, although I would have loved to be there (and it goes without saying the kids too), it was a good decision - this was a much needed break for Jim. Not to mention, some much needed family time:

Bobby, Katie, Dad, and Jim - can you tell they're related?

The birthday girl and her brothers - missing a brother, Jeff makes four.

Bobby, Josh, Katie, and Jim

Uncle Jim and Everett

Jim heads home tomorrow. We've missed him, and I know he's missing us. Still. This has been a great trip: lots of beer, laughter, nieces and nephew to love, a new tattoo, relaxation and serious Yost time

Happy Birthday Katie. You're an amazing person. truly.

MAGNOLIA MARIE YOST

2011-02-28T01:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my BIG GIRL.

I always make the mistake of calling her baby-girl. She always reminds me, "I'm not a baby, I'm a BIG girl!".

Yes you are.

Three years, sorta. We're celebrating today, and though I will miss most of it, including the present opening. I will be thinking of her all day, imagining her delight at the new wonders she will wake to. The joy she will have playing and creating her own world.

It's like magic, this life.

talet show

2011-02-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

It was a very cute and very sweet afternoon treat for Jim and I. Except. Except the part where Fletcher was frustrated by his lack of control over choreography. You'll notice Maggy does not take the hint (over and over again) to exit stage right. She is way too into those twirls. Yes, he did try to trip her. Sibling love.

Celebrating!

2011-02-26T22:32:00.000-08:00

Our family is celebrating this weekend. On Friday Jim and I paid off our account with Consumer Credit Counseling. This is the end of four years of paying off our too large credit debt. What a relief!
So, last night we had a pajama party. I made popcorn, which I don't do often. I mean real popcorn: cooked on the stove and then smothered in butter, salt and brewer's yeast. Yum. We had tacos for dinner, and ice cream for dessert. We watched Megamind, a truly funny and unique movie:

Today while Jim had a nice long break in the afternoon, I took Fletch and Maggy on a movie date. This was Maggy's first movie theater experience which began with a stop at Powell's to load up on candy. It was another funny movie, and so different than many movies that are out today:

Tonight Jim is out to another show in SLO, Sexy-Time Explosion:

Tomorrow: bowling and pizza.
Perfect weekend, lots of fun.

Happy Valentine's Day...

2011-02-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

If your still searching for your child's class valentine's, go no further. Here's the most unique thing you'll find:

Luckypennymake's magnetic paper dolls

so awesome.

Just Read

2011-02-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you read Just Tutes blog? I really love her. Her sewing tutes. Her style. Her raw honesty.
Go read An Open Letter To My Daughter. Go ahead, I promise you will cry and laugh and totally relate.

lost (deleted)

2011-01-29T23:39:00.000-08:00

I accidentally deleted some of my favorite pictures from Fletcher's birthday party. I can't even begin to comprehend how disappointed I feel....yuck.

The Percy Jackson party was great success, one of the best party's we've had. I googled the theme and found some other great blogs with all kinds of great ideas and pictures for this theme. What an amazing thing, to find so quickly and easily just the right bit of inspiration to kick start a mom!

Blue food, which the half-bloods like best: blueberry waffles, blueberry syrup, blueberry yogurt, blueberry juice, blueberries, blue corn chips. (there are very few natural blue foods!)

the first task (Fletcher found four scrolls throughout the party which describe the tasks to be completed)

painting sheilds

Roy's

Ezzy's

Maggy's

Lemon's

Forrest's

Fletcher's

Andy's

Bella's

task two

pin the lightening bolt on Zeus

task three

To slay Medusa (thanks Mom and Aunt Harvest for the amazing pinata!)

Medusa needed a bit of "reconstruction" halfway through the great battle

the final blow


task four: cake and a blue bead on blue silk thread for each battle weary halfblood


the blue cake with a lightening bolt (thank you Aunt Harvest!)

This is where the pictures I erased should be: a few great shots of the whole crew with their shields, it's truly a shame! Still Fletch loved the party, the weather was awesome, and we all had a great time!

Thirty-Ninth Year

2011-01-23T00:56:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIM!

Tonight Jim is celebrating his birthday at a punk show.

D.I., at The Z Club in SLO

I hope he's fully soaking in the energy, with complete abandon

reveling in his aloneness among others who share his love of music and beer.

I hope too for just a bit of the old Jim to come out and play:

a bit of debauchery and more than a bit of endurance.

Tomorrow we will celebrate in whatever manner he wishes:

After he wakes up!

This one's for you Babe:

Are you a Half Blood?

2011-01-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

We're getting ready for Fletcher's Percy Jackson party this afternoon. I think it will be his best party yet! Pictures later....

It's Not The Chase That I Love....

2011-01-20T21:26:00.000-08:00

If your not listening, you don't know what you're missing:
The Avett Brothers
Maybe you are already listening, and I was the one who didn't know what I was missing.

So, if you happen by my house and find me dancing wildly around, hair flying, arms and legs flailing and the room is silent, look closely; I've got my headphones plugged into the trusty old ipod, turned up full volume listening to Kick Drum Heart:

"It's not the chase that I love, it's me following you."

Fletcher is....

2011-01-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

8 years old!

a whip cream lover.

so happy to be another year closer to double digits, a fact he loves to remind us all of.

smiling, laughing, playing, enjoying the sunshine, goofy, and sweet, very sweet.

sleeping under his Christmas quilt.

reading (and if you look closely, he might be flipping me off, but I choose to think not.)

reading constantly.

helping Dad play Everyword, showing Mom up again.

building, building, building. Loving all the legos and elastic powered vehicle kits he received as gifts. He is also following the directions for the first time on his own - no longer asking us to build for him.

playing his DSI, anywhere and everywhere.

creating. This boy of ours is growing up. I know that is just what happens, but still, I am a feeling a bit blindsided by how quickly it all goes. Eight seems like such a big number, so much bigger than seven - I don't know why. He's just amazing.

reading. He flew through the first three Percy Jackson books he got for Christmas, he's moved on with the rest of the set he got for his birthday. He's also reading three to four Hardy Boys books per week from the library, there is something about seeing his with one of those old books that warms my heart.

Magnolia is...

2011-01-16T23:39:00.000-08:00

dancing, twirling, singing, laughing, constantly moving.

counting her fingers, singing along with the local hip-hop radio station, trying to put herself to bed.

getting her own library books, helping me make coffee in the morning, being just a bit more gentle with the kitties, planning her birthday party.

painting, drawing whales, categorizing people according to how they are related, trying to do everything Fletcher does - and maybe a bit more.

playing uno, taking care of her babies: nursing, feeding, carrying them in slings and then dumping them without ceremony to move on to the next adventure, riding her bike, wearing almost no clothing even when it's 60 outside.

finally wearing the dress I made for her birthday LAST year!

Jim is....

2011-01-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

signing up for a class at cuesta. Hoping his energy will sustain.

missing work.

cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

using my Kindle, beating me by leaps and bounds at Everyword. A bit obsessed.

helping Nate, talking, talking, talking and supporting him.

buying a new phone. Bummer. He lost one today.

enjoying 8 year old hugs and kisses that are more frequent.

reorganizing the garage.

walking his girl to sleep, cause mama is gone more.

loving the weather.

tired. happy. sad. missing. enjoying. thinking. resting. living with ms.

I am.....

2011-01-16T12:39:00.000-08:00

trying to wrap my head around all the things I want to do for Fletcher's birthday party, with the very little time I have between now and then.

feeling excited and tired. Went to a laboring woman's house yesterday with Edana to give the mom-to-be a massage. What a gift. I do love homebirth. I love birth. Wish I could have stayed through till the end, but it was nice to come home to smiles, and a sleeping girl.

wishing I had worked harder last year to loose weight, it's only getting harder.

trying to drink my coffee without milk and sugar, yuck.

thankful I am going to start earlier hours at the preschool = more time with family and or more likely more time to build massage practice and work with Edana.

amazed by my kids, they are so big, both physically and emotionally. WOW. Life is amazing and so good.

January 13, 2011

2011-01-13T00:25:00.000-08:00

Tiptoeing Back

2011-01-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

It feels a bit strange to come back from my last post. This will not become a place to update or air out my brother's lives. Though I'm a bit timid at the moment, my kids are still laughing, Jim is still sweeping the dirt under the stove, and I'm still trying to finish Fletcher's Christmas quilt. We are still here, we're coming back to this spot....a few pictures to start:

Brutal Honesty

2011-01-02T01:03:00.000-08:00

So, I've got many posts whirling around in my head. Lots of Christmas pictures and lists of favorite gifts....but I have to get this post out first - it's just pushing to be said.

Today Jim and I visited my little brother Matt in jail. This was my second visit with him since he was arrested on drug related charges early in the morning of December 3rd. He spent Christmas there, he spent New Years there, he will spend his next birthday there.

Today was a really nice visit, he seemed so clear and so present. He must be sober in a way I've not witnessed since he was a young teenager. We laughed a bit, and this time I did not cry. He will go to court next Tuesday and says he will accept the deal they give him so he will finally know exactly how much more time he has to do. He thinks maybe they will offer him 180 days, which he says should turn out to be 90 with his good behavior. He wants to go to the honor farm where he can work and be outside more. There he could have contact visits, 3 hours a week. Now he gets 2 hours per week and we talk through a phone, looking through glass. It's hard to hear each other and other voices are on the line. There is a message that comes on about 90 seconds in to remind you your conversation is being monitored and recorded. It's all very surreal and somewhat silly feeling. Too bad it all so very serious and true. He walks miles each day around the dorm. He's reading a book about Gandhi and makes a hot sauce paste out of cheetos. He's learning to play pinochle. He says he almost let his attitude get him into to trouble, but quickly and with fear realized he need to put that away. He says it is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. He says he will not ever be going back once he's out.

Today I saw my little brother Nathan, he was home. He called his mother from an AM/PM at 3:30 in the morning asking to be picked up. He was cold and scared. No place to stay, no home. I had not seen him since about a week before Christmas when Jim and I happened to run into him in the grocery store parking lot. He looked awful. I told him, "You look like shit.". I cried. I hugged him. I told him our door was open if he was ready to try getting clean again. Then I walked away. I can't fix him. I can't save him. He has to make that choice.

Today he looked worse. He is so very skinny. He is literally killing himself. Jim and I told him again, our door is open if he's ready. I don't know if he is. He is scared and ashamed and doesn't want to inconvience us. We took him in once before, he spent almost two weeks at our house detoxing and waiting for a bed in a Salvation Army rehab program. His mother slept on our floor. Jim took charge of him during the day. He was on lock-down. We hid all our valuables. It was hard. It was depressing and exhausting. We are willing to do it again, but he has to want it. He has to want to live bad enough to push through the actual pain his body will go through while detoxing. Enough to say NO, every second of every 24 hours when his mind will remind him what will make him feel good again. Enough to stay in the rehab program this time.

If you are reading this you may be wondering why I'm blogging this horrible and personal bit of life. It seems so unnecessary. And glaringly, blatantly not my story to share. So here's the thing: that's exactly why I had to write this and put it out there for everyone and anyone to read. That feeling of shame and disgust. That secret. It's such a huge part of the disease. This terrible disease: addiction, it feeds on the the shadows and shame and fear. I want so badly to see my brother's well and living a life in the sun. I have to spit out all the truth of what has happened in our family. We can not pretend or hide from it. Matt is hopefully on his way, he says he is - I want to believe this. Nate however, he's dying. He still has a chance, but not much - it's true.

Today I'm being brutally honest.

We Wish You...

2010-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

Very

Merry

Christmas

With lots of laughter, hugs, and love!

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas....

2010-12-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

find it here

This is my new favorite Christmas book, very funny, very sweet....

So here we are, the night before the night before:
Jim is finishing up shopping.
I'm hoping to finish up crafting.
Fletcher is just about jumping out of his skin.
Maggy is, well, Maggy - very happy.

It's time to shop!!!!

2010-12-02T22:48:00.000-08:00

Barbara, the genius behind Luckypennymake has a new pattern:

pack-up backpack

if you sew, and love to sew for your kiddo(s) or some else's, this pattern is for you!

This is a shamelessly promotional post, yes. BUT. I've worked from her patterns (love, love, love the rock collecting skirt), and they are not only beautifully drawn but really simple to follow. Not to mention, those models are darn cute.

Crafting Night...

2010-11-12T21:12:00.000-08:00

Maggy says:

2010-11-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

"The cow is pooping in the chocolate milk!"

Ezra, sweet boy

2010-11-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

thanks Barb for sharing!

If You Could Be....

2010-11-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

From Fletcher:
"If you could be anything in the world, even fiction, what would you be?"

Fletcher, " Rampardos, for the powerful head-butt action to destroy the most durable things."
Sara, " An author, so I could work from home and makes lots of money. A successful author."
Maggy, "A pink seal, TO SAVE THE WORLD!"
Jim. "A cat, my only responsibilities would be to eat, sleep and poop!"

Happy Halloween

2010-11-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

Being Inspired

2010-11-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get up early enough to check my favorite blogs, this morning I was touched and delighted by Katie's addition to her sidebar, Being Thankful. So:

Day 1:
I am thankful for my marriage. Sometimes it's so rough to keep your day to day life going. It helps to have someone there just for you.

September 10th, Morro Bay

our 11th Anniversary

The Joy of Parenting

2010-10-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

This one and this one for Katie, who will appreciate them as much as I do. From Is There Any Mommy Out There.... Enjoy!

Baby, Baby

2010-10-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Jumping Baby

Flying Baby

Injured Baby

Dancing Baby

Nature Baby

Spider Baby

Rain Baby

huh.

2010-10-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

kinda how i feel.

Something is up with Maggy. She was wreck on and off today, but after we picked her up from my sister's house - on our way home from the hospital, she was an absolute disaster. I don't know if it's a new phase, teeth, or she was just worried about Fletch.

The digital camera is dying. That is just sad.

I had my fist craniosacral treatment on Friday. My mom gave me a gift certificate to see if it would help my jaw. It was intense and not comfortable. My jaw felt 10 lbs lighter yesterday. Today it feels looser than it has in 20 years. I am hopeful.

I am a bit stumped by the gift I am making Fletch for Christmas. I just need to jump in and start. I'm sure there are plenty of easier ways than the one I'm choosing. That just seems to be my style.

I gave a massage to a pregnant woman Thursday night. I told my midwife I really want to work with home-birthing moms and even at the births if I can. She said great. It seems like it can't be that easy, but maybe it is. Jim and I are both beyond excited. Maybe I won't have to work at the preschool for as long as I thought.

Maggy keeps changing her mind about what to be for halloween. A pink kitty. A pink princess. An old lady with saggy boobs and a bathing suit (from a card she saw). A pink kitty like that, pointing to a purple flower. A purple kitty. A pink fairy. An Angelina ballerina. I don't how I'm going to get started on her costume. Wish me luck.

Fletch is going to be a vampire, no problem.

Tomorrow Maggy and I will be making pumpkin and apple puree. Staples for my baking.

I should go to bed, but crave this time. The quiet.

This is not what I envisioned for our Saturday afternoon...

2010-10-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

We started by meeting Grandma Paffy and Granny for breakfast at Country Touch Cafe. Quite yummy. After omelets, pancakes, homemade bread, and lots of breakfast meats we all went back to our house for some visiting. Jim and Fletch gave Granny a tour and then we gathered in the backyard to watch the kids run around, all smile and screeches. Until.....

Fletcher jumped approximately 9 feet out a tree and landed a bit funny on his right foot. It's not broken, but badly sprained. There was laughter, tears and some fear for all of us. We're recovering; thanks in no small part to: a great ER doc, Target and some really crappy but fun toys, In N' Out and their "animal style", Video Palace and their Wii game selection, and last but not least Ben and Jerry and their Mint Chocolate Cookie (Mommy's little helper). Also Children's Tylenol and strong back and leg muscles: the boy (all 70 or maybe 80 pounds of him) needs to be carried around.

I Want..

2010-10-13T19:18:00.001-07:00

"Mom, I want these shoes ever in my life."
-Maggy

Translation: "I need these shoes." (I think)

Their (&My) Joy

2010-10-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm not doing dishes, laundry, or homework. I'm not preparing for my day tomorrow, getting my breakfast, lunch and dinner ready because I have to take all three with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm ignoring all the little piles I've left around the house and letting one more night go by that my Christmas crafting sits unattended.

What I am doing is something equally important. Reaching out, sharing a bit of our lives, connecting with you. Hi.

Random

2010-10-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

why does my son sleep on the very edge of the bed? how does he not fall off?

I forgot to add the coffee grounds to our coffee maker this morning. Then I had no time to start over because Jim woke me at 7:10 when I had to be at work at 7:30, thank you Starbucks. Again.

I should be doing dishes and preparing for my long day tomorrow, instead I got sucked in by this video:

Thanks Jen, love it.
Jim: this is not a video to share with Fletch!!!!!

I know almost all the bones in the body by name, and at least half the muscles. My mom is an excellent teacher.

Ok dishes, here I come.

I'm not really gone....

2010-10-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

but I'm not really sure when I'll be back.

Life is quite busy right now: between work and night/weekends in school I don't have much time with the kids, less with Jim and almost none for absolutely anything else.

Not to mention the fact that we are now three months from Christmas, which means many projects for me!

So, I will be absent here almost completely. I will try to at least upload some pictures.

Katie, I'm not ignoring Project Blog - I'm following and plan to join, I promise.

Until then:

The Story of Us (Part 8), Life: In Love

2010-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Over the next two years the family struggled some. The little girl was head-strong and single minded. She was fast and agile, slippery and silly. The little boy was often frustrated and wished she had never been born. The boy and girl, while worn out from constant parenting, were still amazed by their children every day.

The boy's health worsened and he started to experience pain for the first time as a result of his MS. The boy got a cane, but did not like to use it, he felt self-conscious and seemed to be battling his body daily. The girl was tired and worried all the time, she did not know how to help the boy and her heart was full with sorrow.
What plagued the family most was the almost constant bickering and often out-right fighting between the boy and girl.
The boy constantly struggled with fatigue and a wish that he was still working. It was hard for him to completely enjoy being at home when his whole being cried out to be in the world working, providing, being the father he imagined he would be. But still. He did enjoy being with his children, he felt very lucky to share such an important part of their growth everyday. This sometimes caused him more pain, he felt guilt on those days he let his anger and hurt seep into his parenting, into the precious time he spent with the little girl and little boy.
Alongside the boy's struggles the girl had her own. When the boy was in pain the girl felt helpless. When the boy was sad, the girl felt helpless. When the boy was angry, the girl felt angry and frustrated. She wanted him to speak more kindly when he felt so much ugliness in him. She was not always patient, and was often demanding. She could not understand why he couldn't just focus his energy on what was good, what was wonderful in their life.
They hurt and they hurt each other.

Somehow the boy and girl got through this troubling time. They endeavored to restore happiness to the home and once more surround their children with harmony. They listened more and yelled less. They tried hard not be demanding and negative. They sat and talked in the evenings and remembered what it met, what it felt like to support each other.
Her sister began to bring them regular meals to try and bring some relief in the daily chores of life. Their mothers offered to help with childcare more and the girl's cousin picked the little girl up once a week for a play date that also gave the boy and the little boy and break. Everyone who knew and cared for the family offered help and support, and love and love and love.

The girl asked the boy to take more time for himself, to please take more care. She told him she would do anything needed if only he would ask. The boy began to ask, he began to pause, to lay down and relax when he needed. The little boy and little girl seemed to settle back into the delight of life, the boy and girl saw the change were grateful.

And now the boy and girl and the little boy and the little girl are continuing on, living and laughing and loving. They adore each other and relish each day. Sometimes the boy and the girl still fight; and most days the little boy and little girl push the wrong buttons, with each other and with the boy and the girl.

But still. The boy makes the girl laugh, and the girl rubs his back. And at least once a day they witness a tender moment between the little girl and little boy. They are a family, they are met for each other and that is enough, that is perfectly extraordinarily right. What A Wonderful World.

To The Boy
Happy 11th Anniversary
With love and immense admiration,
The Girl

The Story of Us (Part 7), A Family

2010-09-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

The boy and girl learned to live with his condition. They moved on with life and tried to keep smiling and get the most out of every day. The boy continued to work, the girl took the medications her doctor prescribed. She wanted to be healthy, quickly, she wanted to take care of the boy.

Soon the boy and girl were expecting another little one. This time felt different, this time her belly grew and grew. They moved again, they chose a midwife and home birth. They were happy and ready to start their family.

The boy worked hard and the girl was winding up her work at the office. She was ready to be at home with this baby, to cuddle, and breastfeed and love, cherish, and be captivated by her little one. The boy and girl spent many nights talking late and imagining what life would be like. They were excited and nervous.

One night almost a week past the wee one's due date, the boy was at a friend's house and the girl was getting ready for bed. She took the dog out to pee and he jumped over the gate right into the street. The dog was hit by a car, he came back into the yard and seemed ok, but the girl called the boy and told him to come right home. He took the dog to the vet, they said he would be fine, but they would keep him overnight.

At midnight as the boy and girl were going to bed her water broke. The boy and girl were overjoyed, this was the beginning! Labor lasted more than thirty hours, it was hard. But still, a little boy was born and life was magnificent.

The girl stayed home for most of six years, working some here and there when the need arose. Mostly she spent time with her little boy and loved being a mother. They chose to home school him and practice attachment parenting. The shared a family bed, nursed the little boy well into his boyhood, carried him, talked to him and tried to honor the person he was and was becoming. The boy worked hard and took time off here and there when the need arose. Life was not easy, but still, it was so very worth it.

The little boy grew and was incredible, they were stunned by him daily. When he was five another little one came along. She was also born at home, her big brother was there, with his arm around the girl's neck, cheering her on, "You can do it Mom, I know you can!" The labor was swift, the midwife almost missed it and a girl was born. Tiny and sweet.

The family was four and they fit together so well. The boy and girl were tired quite a bit, sometimes they wondered if they were wrong to add another, they worried they had ruined the little boy's life when he felt sad and missed all the attention he was used to receiving. But still. Not long after the little girl was born, as the little boy held her sleeping in his lap, he said, "She is the person I love most in the world." The girl and boy were thrilled and felt blessed.

The family moved again to another small house with a big yard. The boy had quit working completely and the girl went back to work at the preschool. The boy took over the responsibilities of the home: all the home schooling, the cooking the cleaning and walking the baby when she cried. He planned play dates, changed diapers, and worked hard to maintain the life they wanted to provide.
The girl was sad to leave each day, she saw herself as a mother, at home. She loved the job, the cooking, the baking, the afternoon naps and holding her baby. She pumped milk for the little girl and was rueful she missed out on so much of her little girl's babyness.

But still. She went to work with a smile, she knew in her heart this was best for her family. The girl wanted more than anything for the boy to take care of his body and mind - to be as well as he could. She came home each night so happy just to see their smiles. And they were smiling. Her little boy and little girl were truly happy and so the girl and boy were truly happy.

The Story of Us (Part 6), Heartache

2010-09-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

The girl and boy continued on, happy together. They took pictures of the girl's growing belly and wondered about their future.
One month later they found themselves in the emergency room. With them was her mom and his mom holding their hands and trying to comfort them. They spoke of their own miscarriages and how life works and the children who come after and the joys life would still bring. The boy tried to keep a brave face and make the girl smile. He told her jokes and brought comfort to a tragic night. The boy was her strength.

The doctor came in and took the girl's hand, looked her in the eye and said, "Your baby doesn't have a heart beat." And the girl felt broken and so sad, her heart just ached. She thought she knew, but still, she had hoped.
She wondered how this had happened, how had their baby died without them knowing? While life for them was so good and so happy.
She cried for a week, the boy held her and still tried to keep her laughing and rented silly movies and talked to everyone who came to the door so she would not have to.

At the end of the week they went south to attend her grandfather's funeral. He had died the day she went to the hospital, and for some reason that brought her solace. She did not believe in god or heaven, and yet she felt her grandfather was taking care, in some way, of her lost baby.

The boy and girl went on and the sadness stayed with them. But still, they found joy and reasons to accept their tragedy. The boy and girl understood they could still begin this wonderful life. They could move on loving that little baby, and at the same time appreciate each other, and their time as a couple before other children would change all that.

They had a big beautiful wedding. Her mother made her dress, her mother-in-law embroidered it with flowers. Her step-mom baked the cake. A friend sang to them, and they danced to their song, What A Wonderful World. Everyone helped, it was amazing, more than they had hoped it would be. The boy and girl went to Las Vegas for this honeymoon, they did not want to come home.

Soon they moved into a little house with a yard, they had cats and a dog. They fought sometimes, they laughed a lot. They worked and played. But still. Life had more in store for them:
the girl had some health problems. She lost too much weight, her left eye bulged, her body buzzed and she fidgeted too much. The doctor said she had an overactive thyroid. She started doing research, she wanted to treat herself holistically, her doctor wanted her on medication. He said she could use radiation, or have surgery, or take the meds. She took some time to think. They would have to do tests to find out exactly what was wrong. They would see after Christmas.

Then one day the boy woke and got ready for work, he was dizzy and could not see well. The girl was still in bed when the boy came back and said he had left work - he was sick and would stay home. The girl went to work, she had an appointment with her doctor in the afternoon, he would tell her what was wrong. She talked to the boy a few times that day, he asked her to come home once to find the dog that had escaped the yard. He felt horrible, he could not walk at all. The boy and girl thought he had the flu.

The girl went to her doctor appointment. She was ready to ask the doctor to help her treat what was going on naturally, she really liked her doctor and felt sure he would care for her in the way that she wanted. The doctor told her she had Graves Disease, and no, he really could not do what she wanted, she would have to find another doctor. He was quite rude and she left crying.

When she got home, the boy told her he had to go to the emergency room, and half way there he asked her to look at his eye. She felt so scared when she saw his eyeball, pointing off to the side, she knew something was happening in his brain.
The emergency room doctor thought the boy was on drugs. Once he realized that wasn't the case, he told the boy and the girl it could be one of three things: a brain tumor, m.s., or lupus. He was excited, he was an intern, he had never seen this before.
The boy and girl were floored and astonished, and so very afraid. They agreed that maybe a tumor would be best, it could at least be removed. She called all their parents, she felt horrible giving the news long distance to his family. His mother was in Thailand, she could not imagine the panic a mother would feel so far away.
They called in a neurologist and admitted the boy for the night. She wanted to stay with him, but they needed the other bed in his room, so she went home and tried to sleep.
The next morning the girl went back to be with him when the doctor showed him the MRI. The boy had Multiple Sclerosis.

The boy was sent home with an eye patch and steroids, a nurse came and set him up with an i.v. All his friends came to visit and drink a beer with him, they were worried and needed to see him, to touch him to make sure he was all right. The boy still laughed and made jokes, it felt like a party, but still - there was fear in the room. The boy would turn thirty in twelve days.

The Story of Us (Part 5), A Surprise

2010-09-06T22:03:00.000-07:00

Soon the boy and girl decided to move in together. They found an old funky one bedroom apartment and made a home. The boy and girl were happy. They no longer had to drive back and forth between the town and city. They were not lonely anymore.

Then one day the boy and girl found out there was to be a little one. They were stunned and nervous. Soon they were excited. They had talked of marriage, they had talked of kids. They had been together for six months.
They decided to marry. The girl's parents said, "You don't have to get married because you're having a baby." The girl said, "I know'. But still. They wanted to.
The boys mom was surprised and happy. The boy's dad and step-mom came to town to meet the girl and buy them matching rings and fill their refrigerator with good food for the girl and her growing baby.

The girl and boy decided on a quick ceremony at the Clerk Recorder's Office in the city. They made an appointment for a Thursday. They went to Target for clothes. His brother and grandmother came to town.
That morning the girl's sister helped her get ready while the boy's brother ran last minute errands with him. The boy and his brother bought her a beautiful bouquet and he was nervous when they met up outside the building. They took pictures lots of pictures, it was the first time their parents had met. It was a small affair:
The girl, the boy, his mother, her mother, his grandmother, her step-mother, her father, his brother and her sister.
The girl and the boy were married. It was September 10, 1999. His brother and her sister were witnesses. It was beautiful and sweet. Everyone was teary eyed but the girl and her father. She was so happy.
They had dinner at Robin's with the family and spent the weekend - the honeymoon, in a Bed and Breakfast on the coast that their parents had paid for. They drove up Highway 1 to Monterey. They were in ecstatic, they were in love.

Just found this

2010-09-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

It's not a joke, she actually filmed this about a year before she died of ALS. Sad, but sweet and uplifting and a truly amazing gifts for those that loved her.
I'm going to go through her blog now:
Carlamuses

We Are...

2010-09-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

fixing the broken bathroom sink drain. Fletch accidentally dropped a ring down it and when Jim took off the trap, the pipe just crumbled apart in his hand. Whoops!

making muffins, pancakes, breakfast burritos, syrup and cleaning out the fridge in preparation for our first week of my massage class.

out for beer, well, Jim is. Hi Jen.

watching more t.v. so mom can clean some more (and blog).

glad it was a three day weekend and so is next weekend. Not technically, but I took Friday off for our anniversary, it will feel like a three day weekend till I have to go to school on Saturday and Sunday.

so glad Grandma Paffy moved back to the area. We spent the weekend with her: Pinerado fun and enchiladas in Cambria on Saturday. Art in the Park on Sunday. Lots of fun.

potting training, seriously, buying those cloth diapers were a really good idea. And timed perfectly.

a little nervous about massage school.

really nervous about being away from home so much more.

enjoying the semi-arrival of fall. Feels amazing.

trying not to let Maggy nap so we can get her in bed earlier. Such a departure from our experience with Fletch, but worth it. I actually get an evening, and Fletch gets some much needed time with his mom and dad and maybe a bit of skipbo!

learning all over again what it means to be a parent. It's not about the t.v., the sugar, the lack of eating, the lack of sleep (though I know the importance all these play on my children's - and my own - moods) it's CONNECTION. Most widely know as attention. I am consistently reminded when my children are out of control. Fighting and fighting and being rude and sad and completely unmanageable. I need to: stop. drop whatever I am doing and just sit down, look them in the eye and say what are you needing? The answer is almost always, "Attention.". This is what most often works for us:

-reading together
-tickle fights, followed by a love sandwich
-sword battles
-painting
-journaling together
-family time: all four of us sitting in the living room talking, usually Jim or I pose a question for everyone to take a turn answering. Last night's question:
"If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?":
Fletcher, "To Pokemon world."
Maggy, "To the beach!"
Mom, "To Disneyland!"
Dad, "To San Francisco."
-riding the grumpy horse
-playing a card game
-helping mom bake
-taking a walk
-sitting down to dinner together, which we only do about 4 days out of the week. It's another place we always pose a question for everyone to answer: "What was your favorite part of the day?"

It's amazing what happens after Jim and or I take a break from the constant chores and activities we are doing to spend time with the kids. They slow down, they laugh and touch each other more with love rather than frustration. We strive to remember this more. We fail often, but we try to go easy on ourselves when we do. It's hard you know? It's worth it though.

The Story of Us (Part 4), Falling

2010-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

The girl and boy started dating. Their first real date was dinner and a movie. The boy picked her up and took her to the coast. She had the salmon he had the thresher. She was nervous, he spent dinner talking about his ex-girlfriend. They took a walk on the beach and he talked non stop, she thought maybe he was nervous too. He let the girl pick the movie and was embarrassed they still had time to kill before it would start. The boy took her to Walmart, he said he needed new boxers. The girl somehow found this endearing. The movie, In Dreams, may have been the worst ever made.

They were together constantly, and she worried some. The girl still planned to leave, she did not plan to fall in love, she did not plan to stay - even for the boy.

The boy began courting the girl. They met for lunch each work day at the lake and sat on the tail gate of his truck eating burritos. He asked her to go to San Fransico with him two weeks after they met. He took her to Disneyland for her birthday a month later. The boy introduced her to his friends, but spent all his time with her.

Sometimes the girl said no to a date, she tried to keep her independence some, she tried to keep her goal in mind. The boy began to think of following her to Ohio if she left. He did not tell her this. He moved in with his mother to save money.

The time for the girl to leave drew closer, the boy and girl fought some and were sad. But still. They were falling in love, they enjoyed their time together. The boy always made the girl laugh and the girl rubbed his back whenever he asked.

By this time the girl was working part time at the preschool and part time in her father's office. She had given notice at the school, she was preparing. But still. She was not sure she wanted to leave. One day the girl's father told her that if she did not leave, if she decided to stay, he could really use her full time in the office.

The girl told the boy. The girl decided to stay. The girl was in love. With the boy.

The Story of Us (Part 3), A Party

2010-09-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

The night of the party she was nervous, but determined to enjoy the evening no matter what. She knocked on the door and the boy answered. He looked a bit different, same smile, same light in his eyes, but he had shaved off all his splendid curls. She was a bit shocked, but did not show it. She came inside and sat down to wait for the friend, they would be going to dinner before the party. There was another boy there on the couch talking to the boy. He said hi to the girl and they introduced themselves. Then it was quiet. The boy would not look at the girl, not even in her direction. It was awkward and the girl was a bit bewildered, but still she was going to have fun.

The girl and the mutual friend went to dinner and then came back to pick up the boy. They headed to the party where the mutual friend began immediately to wind his way through the party. The boy walked into the kitchen put his six pack of Sierra Nevada down on the counter, opened one and spent the next half hour leaning on the counter drinking. He did not offer the girl a drink or even try to talk to her. The girl sat down on a couch and tried glancing at the boy a few times. He would not look at her. A few other boys said hi to her and one sat next to her talking for few minutes. The girl felt pretty silly. She really was here to see the boy, and she really was shy. But still. It all felt a bit ridiculous.

The girl realized she would have to make the first move. She walked into the kitchen and asked the boy if he had saved a beer for her. He smiled his beautiful smile and offered to make her a drink instead. She said she liked screwdrivers. He pour her the drink, half a cup of vodka with a splash of orange juice, she laughed and took the drink.

Pretty soon the house was full and people were standing shoulder to shoulder and chest to chest. The girl and the boy were talking and laughing and the party all around them seemed to disappear. The girl knew the excitement of meeting someone new coupled with a bit of alcohol (she really could not do more than sip the horrible concoction) was a combination sure to sway any young person, but still. She was falling, a little bit, just the same.

The boy was funny and well liked, he introduced the girl to all sorts of people. He put his arm around her and smiled. The boy really was loud, he liked to be the center of attention, and the girl found she did not mind so much. She was having fun. Also the boy really was big; tall and muscular with a bit of a belly, but she found she liked that too. His arm around her was delightful, and so she settled in to enjoy the evening.

The girl slept on the boy and mutual friend's living room couch, but truly she did not sleep much. She was nervous and happy and wondered what he thought and what he felt. The boy had to work the next morning, she pretended to be asleep as he left. She was not sure what to say in the light of day.

It was the boy's 27th birthday and he had asked to see her that night, but the girl had plans and so things were left up in the air.

The Story of Us (Part 2), On the Phone

2010-09-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

The girl went on with her evening and mentioned to her co-worker the encounter. The co-worker knew the boy and asked how he was. The night was fun, and the girl was happy.

The next morning the mutual friend showed up at the girl's house. They went for a walk as they often did and she took some pictures as they went. On the way back home he mentioned the boy. He said, "He told me he thinks you're hot.".

The girl laughed, long and hard. "He's so big and loud!", she said. These thoughts jumped right out of her mouth, they were not based on her experience of the evening before. They came from high school and talk around town. He was one of those two brothers after all. They both had reputations and seemed so far removed from her own life. And frankly, they both scared her a little bit. Still. She felt a twinge of joy. He liked her!

The girl and the mutual friend talked some more and he mention a party he and the boy would be going to the following weekend. She said maybe she would go. She thought about it all week and talked with her sister and wondered if she had the nerve to go.

As the week came to a close she decided she would. What did she have to loose? And she really wanted to see his dimples again. She called his house, expecting to talk to the mutual friend, but he answered. The conversation was excruciatingly quiet. She told him to tell the friend she would be coming into the city for the party. He said ok, and before they hung up he called her by the wrong name.

The Story of Us (Part 1), In The Beginning...

2010-09-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

In the beginning there was a girl, she was happy and inspired by life. She may have been a bit lonely, but she was planning a big move, across the US to seek a new life. This girl had been working at a local preschool for four years since she was 18. She had been through one serious relationship and few short-lived-not-so-serious ones. She was single and just beginning to feel like an adult. She was not looking for someone new, she was looking for herself.

She was living with her mother and sister again after just one year out of the house. Saving up for the big move, she had plans, she would head to Ohio where her oldest brother lived with his wife and daughter. She would spend some time with them, but ultimately she would start her own life. Doing what? She really didn't know, and she was excited.

Meanwhile over the grade in the big city there lived a boy. He was renting out his friend's dining room. he slept on a couch and all his possessions fit nicely into a few totes, except the shelf of punk rock records which were lovingly stored and often used.

He was working in the girl's town Monday through Friday and spending each night and all weekend partying. He was happy, though maybe a little bit lonely. He had been through a long and ultimately heart-breaking relationship and maybe thought that was all there was to love.

The girl was a friend of the boy's roommate, but did not ever go to his house. She rarely went down to the city, the mutual friend would stop by her house when he was in town.

So, it must have been fate the night she went to the city to meet a co-worker for a few drinks and maybe some dancing. She knew where the mutual friend lived, and so when she past by the house on her way to the bar and saw a man standing outside, she thought it was this friend. It was just a glance and she drove on by. Then she remembered, she did not have his phone number. And so she turned around, she would zip in the driveway, say hi, get his number and be on her way.

As soon as she stopped her car, she saw her mistake. It was not the mutual friend, it was the boy. He was standing on the stoop in his work shorts, running shoes, gas-station jacket with a cigarette in one hand and Seirra Nevada in the other. She felt embarrassed. Really she was a shy girl, just beginning to come out of her shell.

But he smiled, and his smile was beautiful. It was an open and inviting smile. It showed lots of teeth and dimples and joy. So she smiled back. They talked for a bit and she was surprised. She did not feel the least bit shy with him. She told him about her upcoming move and where she was headed for the night. Then she said she had to get going and asked for the phone number and for him to tell the mutual friend she had come by.

The boy stepped inside for a moment, and when he returned he handed her a Spitfire sticker and on the back he had written the mutual friends name with the phone number underneath it. And in very small letters written in haste between the name and number, he had added his own name.

Try this...

2010-08-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

Selective Attention Test

Things We Love....

2010-08-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

This girl and her pink scooter. The way she calls herself " A Big Girl", it sounds like "A Bagel".
_____________________________________________________________________

This amazing grin.

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Watching them wrestle with Dad.
Watermelon!!! That's the safety word.
You know, like when your laughing so hard you almost pee your pants, and your stuck under dad and want a chance to get on top, you yell, "WATERMELON!". Dad has to stop everything and give you a moment, you don't have to give him a moment though. You just take the chance you've got and dog-pile Daddy!

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My new ring tones:Maggy singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"and Jim in a stern voice, "You have a very important call from Jim Yost." This one scared the crap out of my co-teacher the first time she heard in coming from my cubby! Thanks Babe.
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His creativity and willingness to ask for what he wants, and the belief that I can give it to him:

His playfulness, and imagination.

His ability to fly.
His lust for life and that he shares it with me. The hugs he starting to give again, the laughter, the conversations which reveal him - what he thinks, what he knows, what brings him joy.

_____________________________________________________________________

Library Day.
The way he buries himself in a book. From the moment he pulls them off the shelf in the library, his nose is in it. Walking out to the car, all the way home, walking into the house, straight to his bed where he stays till dinner time, and beyond.

________________________________________________________________________

The fact that my sister is my boss, and my mother will soon be my teacher. The thought of leaving a job where I see my sister every day to go to work with my mom! All the support I am receiving for my new journey to become a massage therapist.

___________________________________________________________________________
Art with my kids.
When things are just a bit too much to handle, dishes to do, dinner to make, laundry to fold and put away. Those sweet, sweet (why won't they just stop for two minutes? Stop fighting, stop stop pushing, stop taking toys from each other, please just stop.) children of mine need me. When life gets there, sometimes I loose it and sometimes, I'm not sure how - I remember. I remember they need me. Just for such a small portion of their lives. I remember to take a breath and offer more than my frustration, to offer a connection. Connection with me, with the world, with themselves, with art. Art is work, but work of your mind and body connecting to create. You can let that connection happen, and take you over. That is magic, and when I remember to offer that to my kids I am rewarded.
Finger painting, it almost always turns into body painting.

_________________________________________________________________________

Summer evenings.
Some afternoons I came home from work and Jim looked a bit tired and the kids were bouncing off the walls and the world called to us. We packed up the bikes and headed out. Mostly to a near by empty parking lot and sometimes to Sunken Gardens. It felt good, to give Jim that break, but also to take one myself. Life is so very busy for this little family, crazy most days and taking this time out from our normal routine is a gift. I get to once again immerse myself in their world, the one I miss so much now that I'm working. I get to let go a bit and just breath it in. Bliss.

_____________________________________________________________________

His personality, the way it's growing and changing. Sometimes in ways I'm not so fond of, but hey, I'm just the mom. Here to love him no matter what, support and nurture him. Even when he sticks his tongue out and makes gross faces for the camera. It must be cool. Right?

_____________________________________________________________________

Improvising: He took the last of the ketchup, what to do? Homemade ice cream in the fridge, Trader Joe's Midnight Moo and peanut butter. Make our own Peanut butter Mood (like the one from Jamba Juice, minus the banana). It's perfect for dipping the fries!

__________________________________________________________________________

Homemade ice cream, with freshly mashed berries and sugar on top. Thanks Grandma Paffy for the awesome ice cream maker!
Don't forget the Midnight Moo, a staple in the Yost house.

_____________________________________________________________________

The pink hand-me-down swimsuits from Matilda, a backyard tub and sunshine. Look at that grin, it's infectious, and so full of life. It still amazes me the small things that bring my kids joy. It still amazes me the small things that bring me joy. Her smile always does.

_____________________________________________________________________

Her play dates with Junah.
Sharing toys, dressing up, getting married. Loaning toys to each other, laughing together, following from one game to another. Talking and talking and talking. Scratching each other, biting each other, pushing each other down. Best Friends.

_____________________________________________________________________

The kitty cats, Smokey and Socks. Cuddling them. Petting them. Loving them. Laying on top of them. Picking them up by their tails. Squeezing their necks. Kicking them. Like I said, loving them.
Maggy, PLEASE! Get off that cat right now!

It's late, go to bed please.

2010-08-12T21:17:00.001-07:00

I tried to lay down with Maggy an hour ago for bed, we're up now - I'm frustrated, she's quite happy. This is the conversation we had as I lay trying to to read and ignore her, hoping, hoping she would miraculously fall asleep already:

"Mom, I want to tell you a story."
"No, go to sleep."
"I wish, I wish, I had a pink dragon. Your turn." Big smile.
"I wish you would go to sleep." Small smile.
"I wish I had a pink pillow. Your turn."
"I wish you would go to sleep."
"I wish I had my cousin Junah, and Kennedy. Where are theys?"
"Probably in bed, asleep."
laughing, "I wish I had pink guitard of Junahs."
"You mean leotard?"
"Yeah, I wish I had another pink leo-guitard that we shared."

Fletcher just came out of his room to use the bathroom and is once again upset that Maggy is up after he has to go to bed. Well, me too.

A list of Fletcher's grievances against Maggy:
-She bugs me.
-She won't leave me alone.
-Why does she get to stay up and I have to go to bed?
-When I have a tree fort, I don't want her to ever come in it.
-She breaks my toys.
-She scares the kittens.
-Fine! Then I guess I won't do what I want!
-Fine! Then I guess she'll get all the attention and I won't get any!
-She makes me feel invisible. Even when Bella is here she insists that Maggy gets to be with us.
-I'm just invisible when she is here, she gets all the attention!
-I'm a kid too! I'm not invisible!!!

It's heartbreaking to hear, and yet inside I'm giggling just a tiny bit. I know how much he feels this injustice, deep, deep inside himself. I remember when Seth hated, I mean hated me.
But still, this is life. What else can we do, but get through it and wait for the day they can talk to each other like normal human beings. The day she doesn't attack him for attention and he doesn't forcefully push her out of his space. The day they will love eachother again.
I have faith, I know it will come. Meanwhile..........Why does she get to stay up when I just want her to sleep?

A Change.....

2010-08-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

Maggy needed something fresh, something short, something cool, something that shows off her sweet smile. Since Fletch was getting his head shaved, she wanted to also! Don't worry, Dad said, "No Way!", when I would have said yes.

No more tangles, no more fights, no more ponies and barrettes and hair in the face!

Ceremonial cutting of the ponytail for Mom to keep and gross Maggy out with when she's older!

T.V. zone-out, and notice we're back in cloth diapers! Yeah! Thank-you Fuzibunz.

It's a bit choppy, but for Mom and Dad's first effort with straight hair (we regularly cut Fletcher's curly and forgiving baby hair - while he slept!), it's pretty good. Yup, I said it, straight hair - the curls are gone, sad but not too sad. We love it, and so does she.

New cut in action!

Fletch digs his buzz, and it makes him much lighter:

enabling a crane jump!

We are....

2010-08-02T22:08:00.000-07:00

hitting the road tomorrow. Fletcher left on Saturday with my mom and sister Harvest. He's having a great time, especially getting to know his cousins Alec and Drew, who are one year older. all over again. Harvest says they are three peas in a pod.
Jim, Maggy and I hope to leave around two tomorrow when I get off work, wish us luck!
See you next week......

Jim is.....giving it another try!

2010-08-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's called Rebif and so far so good. Three shots per week, Avonex was one. Smaller needle, less side effects - so far.
We are hoping this helps!

I Like Killing Flies

2010-07-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

I've been on a documentary kick lately. Netflix has an amazing assortment to choose from. I could recommend many, but to be honest I don't want this to get lost in a list - a very long one I could make.

I Like Killing Flies.

My cousin, Miko, showed me a bit of this movie about five years ago. Fletch and I went on vacation up to Sierra Friends Center where my Nana, Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Doug live. Miko was living and working there for a semester as an intern, he had this video make by a friend. It was full of clips of different movies, I don't remember much else, but this man:

Watch and enjoy.

Being Janie's aunt, from afar

2010-07-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

Janie is about to undergo her third eye surgery. That is three more surgeries than I ever had done.
I'll be thinking about her tomorrow, but have to admit that more than a bit of my loving thoughts will be going out to Josh and Katie.
It is hard for me to imagine going through this with a child, several times. I would be a bit of a wreck, and though I've not been around for any of this ongoing issue, it seems they are amazingly calm and straight forward about it all.
Good luck, I hope this time it works.

Sage Creek - Newsletter

2010-07-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

It Was A Beautiful Day!
Thanks to those of you who attended our potluck at Mitchell Park on June 26th, it was a beautiful day! The food was great, the conversation was even better. We appreciate everyone who stopped by to learn more about Sage Creek, play games, and share a meal. If you didn’t get a chance to visit with us, keep an eye out for our upcoming events!

Starting Sage Creek continues to be an exciting challenge for all the families involved. As we work towards our common goal of opening in the fall, we are continually reminded of why we are working so hard- for our children. As a group, we believe that the educational models currently offered in San Luis Obispo County are vastly different from the Sudbury model. The opportunity to provide a school that is accepting and supportive of the choices made by its’ students is what makes Sage Creek special!

Spotlighting the families of Sage Creek:

Get to know the Yost Family: Jim, Sara, Fletcher – 7 and Magnolia – 2 years.
“As parents we chose early on to take care of our children’s’ education; we were put off by what we saw and experienced in the public school system and by society’s treatment of children in general. We find the concerns over what or who children will be in the future a narrow minded approach to the pursuit of education. More important to us is who our children are now. These became our litmus test for everything: Does this honor and value my child today, in the present?”

You can read more about their journey to Sage Creek.

To learn more about Sudbury, we have provided a multitude of information and links on our website, www.sagecreeksudbury.org. You may also want to join us at one of our coffee house discussions where you can meet some of our startup group parents and be involved in more in-depth conversations about Sudbury.

You can also connect with us at any of the events listed below, or give us a call or email us anytime.

Sage Creek Sudbury
(805) 270-5355
info@sagecreeksudbury.org

Upcoming Events:
Informal Sudbury Conversation – To be announced

"Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into (their lives); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest." ~ John Holt, How Children Learn

So very cool....

2010-07-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

Check it out. Can you guess who I am related to in this video? hint: he looks like Jim would with a red beard:

Maggy is....

2010-07-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

trying our patience.

a princess. ("No I'm not! I'm a Maggy!)

chattering away:
"I'm a good runnder Mom!"
"Fetcher, Fetcher, Fetcher, Fweeeetcheeeeer!"
"Oh! I have a idea! Daddy could give my baby milkies!!! Yeah!"
"Shut your piehull!!!"
"Don't change my diaper Mom."
"Could you change my diaper Mom?"
"Just for two minutes."
"I need my juss a minute."
"I can do it!"
"I seize the day!"
"I want to watch the hair guy dad!" (La Roux)
"It's a spider lifejacket." (a piece of bacon)
"I don't know."
"I bit Fletcher and he cried!"
"I bit Junah, she cried!"
"Junah pushed me off the chair."
"Fletcher just cut me up, Mom."
"Just hanging out with my Dad."
"I cried Mom. I said, I want my Mom, I want my Mom, I want my Mom! And Daddy held me."
"I luss you."

doing laundry, hanging up her shirts and putting everything in drawers. Someday she'll make Aunt Katie proud.

changing clothes 5 times a day.

trying to wear Junah's pink leotard with a tutu attached home.

hanging out with Junah.

obsessed with tank tops, and one well worn and stained hand me down pink t-shirt from Junah.

totally infatuated with princesses, especially the Disney ones. She's never seen a Disney princess movie! How does it happen?

a huge fan of pink. How does that happen?

all girl, with the barrettes and purses to prove it.

ready to get down, get dirty and keep up with the boys!

singing under her breath to herself, an inner monologue she unknowingly shares with anyone quiet enough to listen. "......spider in my mouth.......up high.........walking, walking, walking......hurt myself on my arm when I fell....." (just the bits I can catch)

trying to keep up with the world, watch out, she's not far behind!

Fletch is...

2010-07-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

climbing trees, walls, rocks, ropes, and our sanity.

sweet.

reading like crazy, he's got books scattered all around his bed and gets a new pile of 8-10 each week at the library.

a fish.

who dives.

and does flips in the water.

becoming his dad's protector and right hand.

getting an idea of what MS means.

taller.

racing ahead on his bike, but willing to head back when I can't see him anymore.

taking Maggy by the hand to: dress her, wash her hands, keep her busy, when Jim needs a moment.

missing Bella.

waiting to watch The Last Airbender.

a Waterbender.

loosing another tooth.

gaining another tooth.

a fan of Teenage Bottlerocket. Skate or Die is a favorite..

playing hidden object games. Passing his Aunt Harvest right by when she gets stuck!

finding lots of wii games at the library.

I am......

2010-07-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

working full time and wishing I could be at home full time to take care of my family.

blogging on our laptop - sorry, no pictures cause they are on our desktop.

enjoying our cool summer.

getting reacquainted with outings with Mags and Fletcher, and loving it.

baking dessert with lots of vegetables in them.

researching baking with alternative medicines to help Jim maintain comfort and a smile on his face despite all the shit he's going through.

trying to come to terms with the fact that we probably should not have another baby, even though we both want at least one more. Feeling grateful for the kids I have, but having a hard time with never doing it all over again...

immersed in Netflix, lots of documentaries and finally watching Lost (I know, I'm a bit behind the times.).

excited about our upcoming trip to Grassvalley in August. It will be a mini family reunion with my siblings and families. We'll celebrate my oldest brother, Mark's, birthday. I so look forward to seeing his family - it's been several years.

watching Fletch Lives with Jim and Maggy, while Fletcher puts himself to bed reading a Naruto book. Peaceful evening.

wishing Maggy would just go to sleep already!

thinking about my Nana today. Happy Birthday Nana!!!!!!

Family Favorite

2010-07-03T00:38:00.000-07:00

We all love La Roux:

Not really one for art....

2010-05-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

Last year at Family Partnership art was taught by a woman hired by the school. I thought she was a great teacher. She was a bit scattered, and often seemed overwhelmed, but the way she talked to and encouraged the kids to do what they wanted and as much or as little as they wanted was impressive. Fletcher participated some days and not others. We loved everything he made, but did not push him when he was not interested.
This year the art class is taught by a parent from Big Sur Charter School. She uses some type of dvd art curriculum. (I was very skeptical of the format, I don't like the idea of art being so, I don't know, hands off, generic, boring. These are all judgments made without any experience of the actual program mind you.)
Truly though, art is really very close to my heart. From the time Fletch could hold a paintbrush I painted with him. For us that usually met me setting everything up and him pouring the paint onto his paper or fabric, and then painting his body.
That worked for me. I love the process. I would just sit beside him and do my own painting. Pure bliss.
So, this year he's done the same: participate some days and not so much on others - and again he's brought home some amazing work that we treasure. Each week we'd talk about what they learned and he always said he enjoyed the the class. Here's the thing though, just about every Tuesday when Jim picked him up, that teacher would make a comment like, "You know Fletcher, he wasn't really interested." as she handed over whatever he had worked on.

HUH!? Who gives a shit? Why are you judging my kid's interest?

I don't know, just kinda rubs me the wrong way. I can understand, if he is disruptive to the class, lets deal with that. I don't think so though. I just think she had to pull it out of him. I think she saw a kid who was not all that interested in art. I don't know, maybe she thought it would bother us if he wasn't producing.
What bothered me was that bit of judgment.

Art, creativity,
(creativity:
1. the state or quality of being creative.
2. the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; orginality, progressiveness, or imagination.
art:
1. the quaility , production, expressions, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, or what is beautiful,appealing, or of more than ordinary significance...
9. skill in conducting any human activity.)

takes so many forms: music, drawing, painting, sculpting, writing, photography, s u re all that. More though, so much more: gardening, cooking, dancing, exercise, wood work, car work, tree climbing, playing house, storytelling, brewing beer, even house work can be creative.

I see so much creativity around. Kids by nature and choice are creating constantly.
Watch, you'll see it.

We still paint together at home, usually I set it all up for him and Maggy and let them go to town. They both start out with the intended project, then Fletcher usually ends his session by painting a warrior face. (Maggy is another story altogether).

So, by chance, a few nights ago I pulled out two old and mostly unused sketch books. We gave one to each of the kids. Fletch got Jim's from an art class he took at Cuest a:

He took the book into his sanctuary (bedroom) with colored pencils and worked quietly for some time before we realized what he was doing. Guess what? The boy just needed to find his own way, his own inspiration, his own desire to create art.

And it's so much better that way! When you really think about what he was doing, without anyone asking him to produce art: he was putting his own imagination, what he sees in his mind down on paper to share with the rest of us. It's utterly amazing! Jim and I were both stunned. Not because we thought he couldn't do it, and not because we thought he would not want to do it, but because it's just beautiful and exciting - this peek into Fletcher's world.

And still, creativity - it's constant, it's in us all. See it, feel it, embrace it for what it is - life lived in the moment.

Note:
some pictures of art work were deleted due to artist's request for privacy, despite the blog author's great distress.

A day with Maggy

2010-05-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday night Fletcher stayed over at Bella's house with the three new kitties. Jim went out for a few beers with Matt and Maggy went to bed somewhat early. I spent the evening cleaning some, organizing some, and watching t.v. some.

We had a potluck on Sunday afternoon at the Kiler Canyon Farm and expected to pick up Fletch and maybe Bella on the way.
Sunday morning came, Maggy and I got up and ate and played and stayed out of the bedroom so Jim could sleep in.
Late morning came, Maggy and I played some more, Jim woke, I made more coffee for me and a cup for him.
Early afternoon came, I did some more organizing, some cleaning, Maggy played, Jim drank coffee and puttered a bit and called Seth to let him know when we would be heading that way to pick up Fletch.
A bit later as I was frantically baking cookies I was not sure would be any good (lots of substituting ingridients and hoping it would all turn out) Jim called Seth again and was informed Fletch could not be torn away from the kitties and they were willing to just keep him, forever.
So Fletcherless we were off, only an hour late and excited about the annual party.

It was our first date with Maggy. We were all missing Fletcher and knowing he would have enjoyed the potluck as he always does, but savoring just the same this rare and precious day with Mags.
It was exceptionally sweet spending time with our girl, giving her all our attention, and recieving all of hers in return.

The potluck was wonderful: great food (my kitchen sink cookies were a hit after all), beautiful surroundings, good friends, and lovely if a bit cool breezes.
I was kicking myself for leaving the camera at home. There were so many moments I was wishing to save and to share here:
Maggy taking turns on the slide with Matilda, Sage and Molly. Laughing hysterically as she zoomed down over and over again, landing hard on her butt and jumping up to run back around yelling, "MY TURN, MY TURN, MY TURN!!!!".
Maggy walking up the hill to the chicken coop. The sun shining in her hair, her arms swinging, singing a quiet song to herself.
Maggy, Molly and Sage jumping on a huge pile of strawbales, laughing, screaming, and singing, "Whose gonna pop, pop, pop, POP MY POPCORN!!!!"
Maggy finding her way to the chickens, standing quietly in awe, watching them peck at the ground as Molly collected the eggs.
Maggy and Matilda checking out the peacocks and imitating their calls.
Maggy wearing Rita's pink butterfly wings, climbing into Cyrus's walker and scooting herself right out the door and almost off the porch, stopping only long enough to ask me for help. Scooting herself down the walkway and across the grass, talking to herself all the way.
Maggy in Seth and Amber's closet, checking on the new kittens.
Maggy pushing each kitten into their Mommy's belly, "I want them have Milkies!!!!"

It was a great day, the first in a long time when I got to really see Maggy. No work, no fights with brother, no dishes, no laundry, just being with her, drinking in the person she is. I felt so lucky, so happy, so in love with my little girl.

John Prine, for Katie and Josh

2010-04-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

Katie and Josh have recently become John Prine fans. I became a fan as a child, when I saw him at the Strawberry Music Festival in Yosemite.

My sister and I used to beg Mom to play two songs over and over again:

and

As an adult I saw him twice more at Strawberry, once in my early twenties with family, then with Jim in 1999.

Jim's favorite is:

My very favorite John Prine song is:

I could go on and on. I do love John. I cry every time I hear him if it's been a while. It doesn't matter what the song is. There is something about the beauty of every day life, even the treachery of it in his stories that touches me. Who else could write such silliness, such saddness, such truth and turn out these completely original and amazing songs? Only John I'm sure.

The downside of homeschooling

2010-04-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

Your kids are always together.
Your kids try to kill eachother.
Your kids are bored.
Your kids want your attention, constantly.
Your kids make you crazy.
Making meals is an all day chore.
Doing dishes is an all day chore.
Breaking up fights is an all day chore.
Life feels like an all day chore.
Saying "Stop that!" more times than you can count each day.
Saying, "No, I can't do that now. I need to finish this one thing first." over and over until finally you say, "Just stop asking! Let me finish ONE thing today!"
Feeling mean.
Feeling overwhelmed.
Wanting to ship your kids to another world for one full week.

The upside of homeschooling

2010-04-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

The laughter.
Sleeping in.
Reading on the bed in the middle of the day.
Making pancakes with your seven year old's help.
"You know why I like zucchini in them? Because is tastes more natural."
"Oh, I forgot, I like the beets in them. You know how the syrup is so sweet? Well, they dilute the syrup."
The sweetness of conversation.
The tickle fights.
Spur of the moment learning, through life.
Art, getting messing and watching your kids create beauty.
Afternoon naps.
Talk of baking fish together, feeling excited your seven year old might actually eat fish.
Wandering walks.
The people you meet who also homeschool.
Lots of trips to the library.
Field trips.
Witnessing so much growth.
The glow of love in those small unexpected moments.

Things I heard Maggy say today:

2010-04-25T16:32:00.002-07:00

I want my Bra-Bra.
Where is my Daddy?
Where is Fletcher?
SHUT UP!
Thanks, Mom.
Milkies Mom!
You home Mom?
I miss my Kennedy.
I hurt my toe.
No baths time!
No oil in my hair!!!!
Can you carry my bike Mom?
I want tuna.
Give me a orange Mom?
I want that fucking paper.

The Lice is Back

2010-04-25T16:32:00.001-07:00

THIS SUCKS!!!!

A month in our life...

2010-04-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Maggy: oral surgery.
Maggy: sick, fever, miserable.
Fletcher: sick, fever, miserable.
Fletcher: double earache, on the couch for a week.
Sara: sick, runny nose, hacking cough.
Maggy: runny nose, hacking cough.
Fletcher: runny nose, hacking cough.
Sara: still coughing three weeks later.
Jim: legs doing the MS thing, tired, uncomfortable.
Fletcher and Maggy: Lice.

This is where we've been, when we've recovered - both physically and mentally, I'll be posting more interesting stuff!

Welcome to the World!

2010-03-17T20:51:00.001-07:00

Everett James Kavulla
Monday, March 15, 2010
one of five!

Knot in my stomach

2010-03-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Maggy goes to the dentist for oral surgery at 6:45 am tomorrow. I'm not sure how much sleep we'll get before then. She still nurses quite a bit early in the morning before she really wakes up. She can't have anything after 2 am. It's gonna be rough.

Two

2010-03-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

Maggy and Fletch on the morning of February 28th, the day we celebrated her turning two! We started the day with her opening a few presents from Fletcher - a Bakugan set (that he wanted), Grandma Paffy - a new baby doll with clothes, and Granny Helen - super cute clothes for Maggy.

Most of the rest of the day was spent preparing for her party. I had worked late the night before on a patchwork dress and matching bag. The morning of the party I made 12 fabric flowers to be dyed by the party goers as party gifts.
Surprising Maggy went down for a nap around 1 pm - whew! Just in time for the boys to take off for a bit and me to finish up the flowers and clean up the kitchen before everyone arrived.
The party was planned for 3 pm, chips and salsa - cake and ice cream, a simple menu for a simple affair:
15 minutes before the party Maggy woke up, then threw up - all over me and herself. Oh, shit. What to do? The gifts were wrapped the cake was on the way, not to mention all those guest. Least of all the fact that Maggy had been talking for days about her birthday, her presents, her cake.

I called Barb and my sister-in-law. I told she seemed fine, and we would be going on with the party, they should bring their children at their own risk. Barb, with her fair share of sickness this season, wisely kept Junah and Ezra at home. Everyone else came, the show went on, and she was fine:

How cute is she?

"I want my cake Mom."

My sister Devon, her daughter Rowan, and her daughter Aurora were in town to see my Dad and got to join the party. Maggy spent the week calling Aurora "my dodder", and wore her clothes every chance she got.

A gift from Kennedy, a homemade and much loved bracelet.

The next gift of the day was the box from Jim and Me. Full of all the rainbow dress up attire I had so much fun making: a tutu, silk fairy skirt and the above mentioned sundress (which we may never see her in. "No, Mom!") and purse.
She wore the tutu and silk skirts all through gift opening.

Aurora loved the tutu. Much to Maggy's dismay.

Maggy's very favorite gifts, the ones she forgot all else for were the hand-me-down Pink Hannah Montana cell phone and even pinker Barbie "I-poder".

Last was the gift from Grandma Sue, Aunt Devon, Rowan, Aurora and Aunt Harvest. A hat box decoupaged with pictures of Maggy, clothes, shoes and accessories. Inside the box were all the treasures found for her dress up time:

Cake time:

Aunt Harvest made the "chocolate and chocolate" cake per Mags request. I added the rainbow of buttons, despite safety concerns. Note: she survived. In addition to the cake there were cupcakes for everyone else, and so after Fletcher blew out the candles - when Maggy was too slow with a breath. She was handed a spoon and dug right in!

Thanks to everyone who came, the party was great - though we did not paint the flowers - I just couldn't pull it together. And thanks for all the lovely gifts - those at the party and those she received before and after the party. Everything was perfect.

And now she's two. My baby, my sweet little girl. She is a wild, screaming, wrestling, little chick who loves to draw, do dishes, fold laundry - then throw it around, dance, read, snuggle, and follow her brother everywhere. She is a Daddy's girl, a fiercely-demanding sister, a sweetheart, a funny and loving little person. She is my daughter and I am wild about her.

Rainy days at home

2010-01-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

Reading, coffee, coloring, pancakes, foggy windows to draw on, music, laughter, and wonderful laziness. I love Mondays off.

The Great Cat Rescue

2010-01-19T23:01:00.000-08:00

Also known as Fletcher's seventh birthday.

On his birthday I took the day off and we went to the animal shelter where Fletch promptly fell in love with the one cat Jim and I did not want to take home. His name is Buster, and there was no doubt the love was mutual. We dragged him through three rooms, pointing out all the other cats, lovely cats, cats without dandruff.

Buster has been with us almost a week and we all love him, but still, Fletch is his favorite:

On Saturday we had a small party with a few of Fletcher's friends and cousins. They decorated ninja headbands and played a game of pin the throwing star on the ninja. Chocolate cake and lots of running around outside shooting eachother with nerf guns, what more could a seven year old want?

Jim and I struggled to remain good parents in the face of a friend going home in the middle of the party crying and broken hearted, and Fletcher being less than gracious while opening his gifts:
"I'm not really a necklace person." after opening the necklace a cousin made
"I got lots of money for my birthday already." after opening a card with $5 in it
We're still reeling a bit from the day.

Cutie Pie

2010-01-19T22:54:00.000-08:00

Christmas

2010-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

The first dress Maggy wore all year!

Christmas Eve

Cookies for Santa

Christmas Morning

It was a great Christmas. Baby dolls, baby stroller (which Maggy sits in more than her babies), remote control trucks, Wii resort, stuffed to the gills stockings, rock band, videoflip, the best scarf in the world, new flannels, a mom-made cloak, and the most amazing dad-made blocks, I want my own set. (Now we just need to get Dad his own table saw and we'll be in business, thanks to Uncle Nate for the help!).

Absent

2010-01-08T20:13:00.000-08:00

I've got lots of wonderful rambling posts in my head, pictures and all. I'm hoping that next weekend (a three day weekend!!!) I can tell you all about it.

Thanksgiving - fletcher's perspective

2009-12-12T15:56:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving - my perspective

2009-12-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

Whoo Hoo!!!!!

2009-10-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

Jim got 104% on his midterm.
His teacher told him he does not have to do anymore homework, just show up, keep helping out in class and take the final - He's getting an A!
He also said Jim's got a bright future ahead of him (hopefully with PG&E).
I never expected anything different.
Thanks, Babe - you're our hero.

While Dad is away......

2009-10-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Mom and the kids will play!

Wheat, it's whats for dinner...

2009-10-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

Maybe.
Maggy and I have been eating wheat again for one week today. I think she's got a bit of a rash, some redness - Jim does not. Meanwhile, I'm loving the expansion of my diet!!!!
Toast
Pizza (with real crust)
burritos
sandwiches
lasagna
wheat noodles
cookies
muffins
hamburger on a bun
and soooo much more....

Welcome!

2009-09-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

Ezra Bly Workman was born into the loving arms of Mom, Dad and big sister Junah at home, 4:21 a.m. this morning!
10lbs 4 oz and a bit over 21 inches.
I was lucky enough to be there!!!!

We are.....

2009-09-07T01:58:00.000-07:00

off tomorrow morning - Yosemite here we come!

Our snuggle bunnies!

I am....

2009-08-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

working full time. There are things I love, and things I don't.

missing my kids.

missing out on the summer fun, play dates and meeting up at the pool.

missing afternoon conversations with Fletcher.

tired at night.

so glad to walk into the house in the evening.

grateful for hugs and smooches from my kids.

glad Maggy often waves me off in the morning with a big smile.

enjoying more gluten free food, including the scones my Mom made and the veggie tart Harvest made - thank you, thank you. Lovely, delicious food I can eat makes gatherings so much more enjoyable.

on and off fantasizing about weaning Maggy, so I can gorge on wheat. All the while knowing that even if she did not nurse I would still be wheat free - just so she would not be the only one with a restricted diet.

grateful for NVC.

practicing hyperfueling.

addicted to a podcast called Stuff You Should Know, from How Stuff Works. Another current favorite is Wait Wait..... Don't Tell Me, and of course, Savage Love.

enjoying Wednesday evenings: we head to the library after work since it's open late then go over to the Lake Park and play, it's so nice to have that time with Fletch and Maggy. Sometimes Jim joins us and sometimes he takes the opportunity to get a break.

looking forward to our camping trip, so very very much.

not going to promise to be better about blogging. I really don't get much computer time these days - I choose to use up all my home time with the kids. I am going to hope to get back to it though, I'll try to devote a bit more time to updates and pictures!

so filled up with love when my kids smile and laugh.

happy when Jim is happy.

Maggy is....

2009-08-08T20:45:00.001-07:00

is dancing all the time. She's got moves too!

quite the goofball. I love it, she laughs so much, I can't help but laugh with her.

helping Jim with the sprinklers. She takes her job very seriously.

only occasionally does she allow me to put her hair up. Then she pulls the pony tail or barrette right out. Her bangs are so long now, we are talking about cutting it. The funny thing is, I thought I would be all for cutting it, Jim said he never wanted to cut it. Now, he says - let's do it. I just can't!

so sweet and funny.

totally in love with her brother. She tries to do absolutely everything he does - including diving off the arm of the couch. On nights when he falls asleep before her, she will often go into his room and crawl into bed with him, pull up the covers and sing to him while petting his head.

talking all the time!!! She repeats everything she hears: sure, awsome - this is a current favorite word of hers, stop it!, Bretcher, Bretch, milt (milk), doggy, side, swing, pool, bath, night-night, bye-bye, and so very much more.

Fletcher is....

2009-08-08T20:19:00.001-07:00

reading everything. He just finished up the summer reading program at the library and generously gave Maggy his library bag from last years program.

enjoying the Wii, all over again!

enduring life with Maggy. She always wants to do what he is doing, which makes him crazy. On the other hand if she is otherwise engage he finds some way to get her attention.

missing his friends.

positive we are the meanest parents in the world.

incredible, I am daily amazed by his play and imagination.

wearing the same pair of pants. every. single. day.

talking like a teenager. Someone teach me patience, please.

scrubbing the kitchen floor on his hands and knees - wearing board shots and bearback - just like dad does it.

so tall, he's up to my chest. What is happening?

Happy Father's Day...

2009-06-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

to all the dads in my life!

More to come on our wonderful day celebrating Jim!

The Yost Family

This is it....

Day at the beach...the last post

luckypennymake pattern giveaway!

Multiple Sclerosis is...

"The Spoon Theory"

Easter, the easy way - just pictures

Simply 10 Good Things

check this out:

suggested reading

After 9 years

Journaling...

First Day

Man of Mystery

still amazed....after all these years

Birthday Weekend

Being Katie

MAGNOLIA MARIE YOST

talet show

Celebrating!

Happy Valentine's Day...

Just Read

lost (deleted)

Thirty-Ninth Year

Are you a Half Blood?

It's Not The Chase That I Love....

Fletcher is....

Magnolia is...

Jim is....

I am.....

January 13, 2011

Tiptoeing Back

Brutal Honesty

We Wish You...

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas....

It's time to shop!!!!

Crafting Night...

Maggy says:

Ezra, sweet boy

If You Could Be....

Happy Halloween

Being Inspired

The Joy of Parenting

Baby, Baby

huh.

This is not what I envisioned for our Saturday afternoon...

I Want..

Their (&My) Joy

Random

I'm not really gone....

The Story of Us (Part 8), Life: In Love

The Story of Us (Part 7), A Family

The Story of Us (Part 6), Heartache

The Story of Us (Part 5), A Surprise

Just found this

We Are...

The Story of Us (Part 4), Falling

The Story of Us (Part 3), A Party

The Story of Us (Part 2), On the Phone

The Story of Us (Part 1), In The Beginning...

Try this...

Things We Love....

It's late, go to bed please.

A Change.....

We are....

Jim is.....giving it another try!

I Like Killing Flies

Being Janie's aunt, from afar

Sage Creek - Newsletter

So very cool....

Maggy is....

Fletch is...

I am......

Family Favorite

Not really one for art....

A day with Maggy

John Prine, for Katie and Josh

The downside of homeschooling

The upside of homeschooling

Things I heard Maggy say today: