It's late, go to bed please.

I tried to lay down with Maggy an hour ago for bed, we're up now - I'm frustrated, she's quite happy. This is the conversation we had as I lay trying to to read and ignore her, hoping, hoping she would miraculously fall asleep already:

"Mom, I want to tell you a story."
"No, go to sleep."
"I wish, I wish, I had a pink dragon. Your turn." Big smile.
"I wish you would go to sleep." Small smile.
"I wish I had a pink pillow. Your turn."
"I wish you would go to sleep."
"I wish I had my cousin Junah, and Kennedy. Where are theys?"
"Probably in bed, asleep."
laughing, "I wish I had pink guitard of Junahs."
"You mean leotard?"
"Yeah, I wish I had another pink leo-guitard that we shared."

Fletcher just came out of his room to use the bathroom and is once again upset that Maggy is up after he has to go to bed. Well, me too.

A list of Fletcher's grievances against Maggy:
-She bugs me.
-She won't leave me alone.
-Why does she get to stay up and I have to go to bed?
-When I have a tree fort, I don't want her to ever come in it.
-She breaks my toys.
-She scares the kittens.
-Fine! Then I guess I won't do what I want!
-Fine! Then I guess she'll get all the attention and I won't get any!
-She makes me feel invisible. Even when Bella is here she insists that Maggy gets to be with us.
-I'm just invisible when she is here, she gets all the attention!
-I'm a kid too! I'm not invisible!!!

It's heartbreaking to hear, and yet inside I'm giggling just a tiny bit. I know how much he feels this injustice, deep, deep inside himself. I remember when Seth hated, I mean hated me.
But still, this is life. What else can we do, but get through it and wait for the day they can talk to each other like normal human beings. The day she doesn't attack him for attention and he doesn't forcefully push her out of his space. The day they will love eachother again.
I have faith, I know it will come. Meanwhile..........Why does she get to stay up when I just want her to sleep?

A Change.....

Maggy needed something fresh, something short, something cool, something that shows off her sweet smile. Since Fletch was getting his head shaved, she wanted to also! Don't worry, Dad said, "No Way!", when I would have said yes.

No more tangles, no more fights, no more ponies and barrettes and hair in the face!

Ceremonial cutting of the ponytail for Mom to keep and gross Maggy out with when she's older!

T.V. zone-out, and notice we're back in cloth diapers! Yeah! Thank-you Fuzibunz.

It's a bit choppy, but for Mom and Dad's first effort with straight hair (we regularly cut Fletcher's curly and forgiving baby hair - while he slept!), it's pretty good. Yup, I said it, straight hair - the curls are gone, sad but not too sad. We love it, and so does she.

New cut in action!


Fletch digs his buzz, and it makes him much lighter:

enabling a crane jump!

We are....

hitting the road tomorrow. Fletcher left on Saturday with my mom and sister Harvest. He's having a great time, especially getting to know his cousins Alec and Drew, who are one year older. all over again. Harvest says they are three peas in a pod.
Jim, Maggy and I hope to leave around two tomorrow when I get off work, wish us luck!
See you next week......

Jim is.....giving it another try!

It's called Rebif and so far so good. Three shots per week, Avonex was one. Smaller needle, less side effects - so far.
We are hoping this helps!

I Like Killing Flies

I've been on a documentary kick lately. Netflix has an amazing assortment to choose from. I could recommend many, but to be honest I don't want this to get lost in a list - a very long one I could make.

I Like Killing Flies.

My cousin, Miko, showed me a bit of this movie about five years ago. Fletch and I went on vacation up to Sierra Friends Center where my Nana, Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Doug live. Miko was living and working there for a semester as an intern, he had this video make by a friend. It was full of clips of different movies, I don't remember much else, but this man:



Watch and enjoy.

Being Janie's aunt, from afar

Janie is about to undergo her third eye surgery. That is three more surgeries than I ever had done.
I'll be thinking about her tomorrow, but have to admit that more than a bit of my loving thoughts will be going out to Josh and Katie.
It is hard for me to imagine going through this with a child, several times. I would be a bit of a wreck, and though I've not been around for any of this ongoing issue, it seems they are amazingly calm and straight forward about it all.
Good luck, I hope this time it works.

Sage Creek - Newsletter

It Was A Beautiful Day!
Thanks to those of you who attended our potluck at Mitchell Park on June 26th, it was a beautiful day! The food was great, the conversation was even better. We appreciate everyone who stopped by to learn more about Sage Creek, play games, and share a meal. If you didn’t get a chance to visit with us, keep an eye out for our upcoming events!



Starting Sage Creek continues to be an exciting challenge for all the families involved. As we work towards our common goal of opening in the fall, we are continually reminded of why we are working so hard- for our children. As a group, we believe that the educational models currently offered in San Luis Obispo County are vastly different from the Sudbury model. The opportunity to provide a school that is accepting and supportive of the choices made by its’ students is what makes Sage Creek special!


Spotlighting the families of Sage Creek:

Get to know the Yost Family: Jim, Sara, Fletcher – 7 and Magnolia – 2 years.
“As parents we chose early on to take care of our children’s’ education; we were put off by what we saw and experienced in the public school system and by society’s treatment of children in general. We find the concerns over what or who children will be in the future a narrow minded approach to the pursuit of education. More important to us is who our children are now. These became our litmus test for everything: Does this honor and value my child today, in the present?”



You can read more about their journey to Sage Creek.

To learn more about Sudbury, we have provided a multitude of information and links on our website, www.sagecreeksudbury.org. You may also want to join us at one of our coffee house discussions where you can meet some of our startup group parents and be involved in more in-depth conversations about Sudbury.

You can also connect with us at any of the events listed below, or give us a call or email us anytime.

Sage Creek Sudbury
(805) 270-5355
info@sagecreeksudbury.org

Upcoming Events:
Informal Sudbury Conversation – To be announced

"Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into (their lives); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest." ~ John Holt, How Children Learn

So very cool....

Check it out. Can you guess who I am related to in this video? hint: he looks like Jim would with a red beard:

Maggy is....

trying our patience.

a princess. ("No I'm not! I'm a Maggy!)

chattering away:
"I'm a good runnder Mom!"
"Fetcher, Fetcher, Fetcher, Fweeeetcheeeeer!"
"Oh! I have a idea! Daddy could give my baby milkies!!! Yeah!"
"Shut your piehull!!!"
"Don't change my diaper Mom."
"Could you change my diaper Mom?"
"Just for two minutes."
"I need my juss a minute."
"I can do it!"
"I seize the day!"
"I want to watch the hair guy dad!" (La Roux)
"It's a spider lifejacket." (a piece of bacon)
"I don't know."
"I bit Fletcher and he cried!"
"I bit Junah, she cried!"
"Junah pushed me off the chair."
"Fletcher just cut me up, Mom."
"Just hanging out with my Dad."
"I cried Mom. I said, I want my Mom, I want my Mom, I want my Mom! And Daddy held me."
"I luss you."

doing laundry, hanging up her shirts and putting everything in drawers. Someday she'll make Aunt Katie proud.

changing clothes 5 times a day.

trying to wear Junah's pink leotard with a tutu attached home.

hanging out with Junah.

obsessed with tank tops, and one well worn and stained hand me down pink t-shirt from Junah.

totally infatuated with princesses, especially the Disney ones. She's never seen a Disney princess movie! How does it happen?

a huge fan of pink. How does that happen?

all girl, with the barrettes and purses to prove it.

ready to get down, get dirty and keep up with the boys!

singing under her breath to herself, an inner monologue she unknowingly shares with anyone quiet enough to listen. "......spider in my mouth.......up high.........walking, walking, walking......hurt myself on my arm when I fell....." (just the bits I can catch)

trying to keep up with the world, watch out, she's not far behind!

Fletch is...

climbing trees, walls, rocks, ropes, and our sanity.

sweet.

reading like crazy, he's got books scattered all around his bed and gets a new pile of 8-10 each week at the library.

a fish.

who dives.

and does flips in the water.

becoming his dad's protector and right hand.

getting an idea of what MS means.

taller.

racing ahead on his bike, but willing to head back when I can't see him anymore.

taking Maggy by the hand to: dress her, wash her hands, keep her busy, when Jim needs a moment.

missing Bella.

waiting to watch The Last Airbender.

a Waterbender.

loosing another tooth.

gaining another tooth.

a fan of Teenage Bottlerocket. Skate or Die is a favorite..


playing hidden object games. Passing his Aunt Harvest right by when she gets stuck!

finding lots of wii games at the library.

I am......

working full time and wishing I could be at home full time to take care of my family.

blogging on our laptop - sorry, no pictures cause they are on our desktop.

enjoying our cool summer.

getting reacquainted with outings with Mags and Fletcher, and loving it.

baking dessert with lots of vegetables in them.

researching baking with alternative medicines to help Jim maintain comfort and a smile on his face despite all the shit he's going through.

trying to come to terms with the fact that we probably should not have another baby, even though we both want at least one more. Feeling grateful for the kids I have, but having a hard time with never doing it all over again...

immersed in Netflix, lots of documentaries and finally watching Lost (I know, I'm a bit behind the times.).

excited about our upcoming trip to Grassvalley in August. It will be a mini family reunion with my siblings and families. We'll celebrate my oldest brother, Mark's, birthday. I so look forward to seeing his family - it's been several years.

watching Fletch Lives with Jim and Maggy, while Fletcher puts himself to bed reading a Naruto book. Peaceful evening.

wishing Maggy would just go to sleep already!

thinking about my Nana today. Happy Birthday Nana!!!!!!

Family Favorite

We all love La Roux:

Not really one for art....

Last year at Family Partnership art was taught by a woman hired by the school. I thought she was a great teacher. She was a bit scattered, and often seemed overwhelmed, but the way she talked to and encouraged the kids to do what they wanted and as much or as little as they wanted was impressive. Fletcher participated some days and not others. We loved everything he made, but did not push him when he was not interested.
This year the art class is taught by a parent from Big Sur Charter School. She uses some type of dvd art curriculum. (I was very skeptical of the format, I don't like the idea of art being so, I don't know, hands off, generic, boring. These are all judgments made without any experience of the actual program mind you.)
Truly though, art is really very close to my heart. From the time Fletch could hold a paintbrush I painted with him. For us that usually met me setting everything up and him pouring the paint onto his paper or fabric, and then painting his body.
That worked for me. I love the process. I would just sit beside him and do my own painting. Pure bliss.
So, this year he's done the same: participate some days and not so much on others - and again he's brought home some amazing work that we treasure. Each week we'd talk about what they learned and he always said he enjoyed the the class. Here's the thing though, just about every Tuesday when Jim picked him up, that teacher would make a comment like, "You know Fletcher, he wasn't really interested." as she handed over whatever he had worked on.

HUH!? Who gives a shit? Why are you judging my kid's interest?

I don't know, just kinda rubs me the wrong way. I can understand, if he is disruptive to the class, lets deal with that. I don't think so though. I just think she had to pull it out of him. I think she saw a kid who was not all that interested in art. I don't know, maybe she thought it would bother us if he wasn't producing.
What bothered me was that bit of judgment.

Art, creativity,
(creativity:
1. the state or quality of being creative.
2. the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; orginality, progressiveness, or imagination.
art:
1. the quaility , production, expressions, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, or what is beautiful,appealing, or of more than ordinary significance...
9. skill in conducting any human activity.)

takes so many forms: music, drawing, painting, sculpting, writing, photography, s u re all that. More though, so much more: gardening, cooking, dancing, exercise, wood work, car work, tree climbing, playing house, storytelling, brewing beer, even house work can be creative.

I see so much creativity around. Kids by nature and choice are creating constantly.
Watch, you'll see it.

We still paint together at home, usually I set it all up for him and Maggy and let them go to town. They both start out with the intended project, then Fletcher usually ends his session by painting a warrior face. (Maggy is another story altogether).

So, by chance, a few nights ago I pulled out two old and mostly unused sketch books. We gave one to each of the kids. Fletch got Jim's from an art class he took at Cuest a:

He took the book into his sanctuary (bedroom) with colored pencils and worked quietly for some time before we realized what he was doing. Guess what? The boy just needed to find his own way, his own inspiration, his own desire to create art.

And it's so much better that way! When you really think about what he was doing, without anyone asking him to produce art: he was putting his own imagination, what he sees in his mind down on paper to share with the rest of us. It's utterly amazing! Jim and I were both stunned. Not because we thought he couldn't do it, and not because we thought he would not want to do it, but because it's just beautiful and exciting - this peek into Fletcher's world.

And still, creativity - it's constant, it's in us all. See it, feel it, embrace it for what it is - life lived in the moment.

Note:
some pictures of art work were deleted due to artist's request for privacy, despite the blog author's great distress.

A day with Maggy

Saturday night Fletcher stayed over at Bella's house with the three new kitties. Jim went out for a few beers with Matt and Maggy went to bed somewhat early. I spent the evening cleaning some, organizing some, and watching t.v. some.

We had a potluck on Sunday afternoon at the Kiler Canyon Farm and expected to pick up Fletch and maybe Bella on the way.
Sunday morning came, Maggy and I got up and ate and played and stayed out of the bedroom so Jim could sleep in.
Late morning came, Maggy and I played some more, Jim woke, I made more coffee for me and a cup for him.
Early afternoon came, I did some more organizing, some cleaning, Maggy played, Jim drank coffee and puttered a bit and called Seth to let him know when we would be heading that way to pick up Fletch.
A bit later as I was frantically baking cookies I was not sure would be any good (lots of substituting ingridients and hoping it would all turn out) Jim called Seth again and was informed Fletch could not be torn away from the kitties and they were willing to just keep him, forever.
So Fletcherless we were off, only an hour late and excited about the annual party.

It was our first date with Maggy. We were all missing Fletcher and knowing he would have enjoyed the potluck as he always does, but savoring just the same this rare and precious day with Mags.
It was exceptionally sweet spending time with our girl, giving her all our attention, and recieving all of hers in return.

The potluck was wonderful: great food (my kitchen sink cookies were a hit after all), beautiful surroundings, good friends, and lovely if a bit cool breezes.
I was kicking myself for leaving the camera at home. There were so many moments I was wishing to save and to share here:
Maggy taking turns on the slide with Matilda, Sage and Molly. Laughing hysterically as she zoomed down over and over again, landing hard on her butt and jumping up to run back around yelling, "MY TURN, MY TURN, MY TURN!!!!".
Maggy walking up the hill to the chicken coop. The sun shining in her hair, her arms swinging, singing a quiet song to herself.
Maggy, Molly and Sage jumping on a huge pile of strawbales, laughing, screaming, and singing, "Whose gonna pop, pop, pop, POP MY POPCORN!!!!"
Maggy finding her way to the chickens, standing quietly in awe, watching them peck at the ground as Molly collected the eggs.
Maggy and Matilda checking out the peacocks and imitating their calls.
Maggy wearing Rita's pink butterfly wings, climbing into Cyrus's walker and scooting herself right out the door and almost off the porch, stopping only long enough to ask me for help. Scooting herself down the walkway and across the grass, talking to herself all the way.
Maggy in Seth and Amber's closet, checking on the new kittens.
Maggy pushing each kitten into their Mommy's belly, "I want them have Milkies!!!!"

It was a great day, the first in a long time when I got to really see Maggy. No work, no fights with brother, no dishes, no laundry, just being with her, drinking in the person she is. I felt so lucky, so happy, so in love with my little girl.

John Prine, for Katie and Josh

Katie and Josh have recently become John Prine fans. I became a fan as a child, when I saw him at the Strawberry Music Festival in Yosemite.

My sister and I used to beg Mom to play two songs over and over again:

and

As an adult I saw him twice more at Strawberry, once in my early twenties with family, then with Jim in 1999.

Jim's favorite is:

My very favorite John Prine song is:

I could go on and on. I do love John. I cry every time I hear him if it's been a while. It doesn't matter what the song is. There is something about the beauty of every day life, even the treachery of it in his stories that touches me. Who else could write such silliness, such saddness, such truth and turn out these completely original and amazing songs? Only John I'm sure.

The downside of homeschooling

Your kids are always together.
Your kids try to kill eachother.
Your kids are bored.
Your kids want your attention, constantly.
Your kids make you crazy.
Making meals is an all day chore.
Doing dishes is an all day chore.
Breaking up fights is an all day chore.
Life feels like an all day chore.
Saying "Stop that!" more times than you can count each day.
Saying, "No, I can't do that now. I need to finish this one thing first." over and over until finally you say, "Just stop asking! Let me finish ONE thing today!"
Feeling mean.
Feeling overwhelmed.
Wanting to ship your kids to another world for one full week.

The upside of homeschooling

The laughter.
Sleeping in.
Reading on the bed in the middle of the day.
Making pancakes with your seven year old's help.
"You know why I like zucchini in them? Because is tastes more natural."
"Oh, I forgot, I like the beets in them. You know how the syrup is so sweet? Well, they dilute the syrup."
The sweetness of conversation.
The tickle fights.
Spur of the moment learning, through life.
Art, getting messing and watching your kids create beauty.
Afternoon naps.
Talk of baking fish together, feeling excited your seven year old might actually eat fish.
Wandering walks.
The people you meet who also homeschool.
Lots of trips to the library.
Field trips.
Witnessing so much growth.
The glow of love in those small unexpected moments.

Things I heard Maggy say today:

I want my Bra-Bra.
Where is my Daddy?
Where is Fletcher?
SHUT UP!
Thanks, Mom.
Milkies Mom!
You home Mom?
I miss my Kennedy.
I hurt my toe.
No baths time!
No oil in my hair!!!!
Can you carry my bike Mom?
I want tuna.
Give me a orange Mom?
I want that fucking paper.

The Lice is Back

THIS SUCKS!!!!

A month in our life...

Maggy: oral surgery.
Maggy: sick, fever, miserable.
Fletcher: sick, fever, miserable.
Fletcher: double earache, on the couch for a week.
Sara: sick, runny nose, hacking cough.
Maggy: runny nose, hacking cough.
Fletcher: runny nose, hacking cough.
Sara: still coughing three weeks later.
Jim: legs doing the MS thing, tired, uncomfortable.
Fletcher and Maggy: Lice.

This is where we've been, when we've recovered - both physically and mentally, I'll be posting more interesting stuff!